Thanks to the lovely Lucinda on the HG thread of Mumsnet for the great analogy of Nausea and Vomiting in Pregnancy being like a game of snakes and ladders. You move forwards some, you move back. It seems to be luck related and is never predictable. So true.
Too tired for anything right now.
Oh I’ve found it very hard to find the energy and inclination to post the last few days.
The end of the week seemed to drag out forever- I was starting to feel a little tiny bit better, and on my walk to the doctors on Friday to fill in a renewal form for my sick note, I walked a long way back, got some fresh air and felt ok. Not great, but ok (which was a vast improvement).
In turn I felt a bit silly for asking for a sick note renewal when I was just starting to feel a bit more human, but thought it was worth the buffer if I needed it.
This weekend was the lovely husbands birthday, and we’d made a quiet low key plan with a few friends. Plan was carried out successfully, and quietly and included watching rugby and eating crisps on the whole (with a little champagne and cake for later). We were in bed just after 11pm, feeling pretty tired but I was just grateful to have seen some actual other human beings. I really struggled to get to sleep, despite being exhausted and having taken my (drowsy) medication, so it took a frustrating 2 hours or so until I slept. Sunday and me did not get on. After sleeping in untl after 11am, I went back to bed at two (after 3 hours of lying on the sofa) to watch the rugby and sleep. I got up at 6pm, forced down some leftover takeaway (cold) and had a bath and went back to bed. It was the most awful horrible day ever. I was exhausted, nauseous and tearful, incapable of anything (including getting dressed or choosing food).
The only good thing to come out of that horrible day was the realisation that I’m really not quite well enough to go back to work this week. So another week of lying in bed, forcing myself to get up and eat and feeling bad for not being able to help out around the house at all. Great 😦
Luckily now we’ve told a few people, I may have a little company at times this week. It helps the days go quicker.
8 weeks today, baby is the size of a raspberry (last week blueberry, week before a PEA!)!
I’d like to give you a mentall image to set you up for the day. Ok, so half the day is gone, but that’s half the point.
Today I stayed in bed until 1pm which felt like what I needed. I had got up at about ten to grab some toast, but had eaten it in bed with a grumpy cat pouncing on my tummy as I tried to clear the crumbs from inside my pajamas top.
At one, I made the gargantuan effort required to go and get dressed. I had to try my leggings three times to get them the right way around (like a usb stick) which was a bad start, bit when I got half way into my jumper, I suddenly started retching. Loudly. In my panic I tried to run to the bathroom with my jumper over my head, whilst retching.
Enjoy that. I didn’t!
This week I have come to further appreciate the many different levels of sickness experienced during pregnancy and how hard it is to try to put yourself into a category.
Some women experience no nausea or sickness at all. Ironically, they often wish for it during early stages of pregnancy, especially prior to first scan dates as it helps validate the pregnancy. This may sound odd, but the strange thing about being pregnant is that you’re unlikely to have it verified by an independent adjudicator until weeks 10-12 when you have your “booking in” appointment, blood tests and first ultrasound. I am embarrassed to admit that when I first went to the doctors to tell her I was pregnant, I’d brought along my two positive tests in case she didn’t believe me!
There’s then a huge swathe of women who suffer with intermittent or mild nausea and/or vomiting between weeks 7-12ish (when hCG is surging through their bodies) who usually get on with it with a brilliant British stiff upper lip, determined not to let the baby-shaped cat out of the figurative amniotic sack until the end of the first trimester (which annoyingly tends to be when the sickness dies down-and any potential sympathy with it!).
The other group we sometimes hear about (thankyouprincessmiddleton) is those suffering with severe NVP (technical term that, and the real name for “morning sickness”- Nausea and Vomiting in Pregnancy), called Hypermesis Gravitas. These are women who have become severely dehydrated as a result of their NVP and have been hospitalised to replace fluids, to try antiemetic medication and to generally get them well again. This can last for a whole pregnancy and is a very serious physical condition.
Inbetween are infinite shades of grey- which is what I’ve been learning about this week. I am a shade. Let’s call it “accountant grey”- darkish, possibly with a dull pinstripe.
I’ve lost over 2.5kg whilst trying to nourish my tiny pea-foetus over the last two weeks. I am very nauseous 24/7 and unable to concentrate, travel or even sit or stand for too long. I am sick 2-3 times a day (and hold it back many more times), I’ve also had a slightly elevated temperature of 99.8 for 4 days. I am however able to keep enough fluids down to still be ‘well’- my urine is dark and I measured my ketosis at 0.5 (which is ok). I am keeping some food down.
I can’t really leave the house or tell anyone why. I can’t go to work (I will have to tell them why soon).
This is sadly why I am going to need some medication. It seems it can be (understandably) hard to convince GPs to prescribe medicines (especially in the first trimester), and I’ve had two
GP appointments since finding out I was pregnant and neither doctor was keen to prescribe. I will need to be a little more forceful (and maybe cry less) to get hold of some of the drugs that can be prescribed for NVP during the first trimester as they do exist! Please keep your fingers crossed for Monday’s gp visit for a miracle cure (or cyclazine).
Looks like we might be pressured into telling people sooner than we are comfy with, but it is very hard to hide a normally busy outgoing person behind a “sickness bug” without genuinely worrying friends and family. We also hate lying (and are pretty bad at it) so I think we’re going to make plans to tell the family this coming week.
On the upside…. I’ve accidentally convinced my lovely wonderful husband that we should go for an early scan! Unless you have some specific health reasons, you don’t get pre-12 week ultrasound scans on the NHS, but can pay to have them privately. I originally saw these as a pointless waste of money and emotion, as you’re still not out of the sensitive 1st trimester until 12 weeks. However, my increasing irrational fear of twins (strong early morning sickness being one of many possible signs) and general impatience to see the little pea-foetus thats causing all this ill has got the better of me…. Roll on Tuesday for my 7+1 scan!
That’ll do for now. I wish I could enjoy a cup of tea.
Oh and briefly, if you meet a womn with severe morning sickness, for the love of anything please do not ask her if she has tried ginger. Do you not think, thy if she were feeling that awful, thant she has probably tried everything in her power to feel well again? That includes sodding biscuits!
This week has defeated me already, I’m sad to say.
Although I understand on a logical level that pregnancy (like any change to your body or health) affects people differently, however it’s hard not to feel weak, wimpy and pathetic when the symptoms seem to be affecting you in a way that you can’t bare whilst others are up, working, looking after children and probably being cheerful too.
I’ve ended up having to take some time off work with the sickness as I’ve been heavily nauseous from getting up time to the moment I fall asleep, and yesterday I started vomiting too. I’ve tried most of the recommended “treatments”- from ginger ale to dry crackers, to eating small snacks frequently rather than large meals. I’ve tried only eating exactly what I feel like (whether that’s a snicker bar, 4 apples or macaroni cheese), I’ve tried eating plain, high carb low fat snacks. I’ve tried eating first thing before getting up in the morning. I’ve tried being busy to as to distract myself, I’ve tried sipping fizzy drinks, I’ve tried only eating food luke-warm rather than hot. Nothing is working. Or if it does- it’s very short lived- a maximum of ten minutes of respite of feeling relatively normal.
So tomorrow I’ve got a Dr appointment to see if there’s anything they can do to help. I guess an option is anti-emetics but a)I don’t want to put any drugs into my body if I don’t have to and b)I’ve heard that they aren’t so brilliant anyway. I’ve also ordered some travel sickness bands which some people have said help and hopefully they will arrive tomorrow.
In short, I’m feeling utterly rubbish and very pathetic about it. Luckily the internet-fountain-of-all-knowledge-that-is-Mumsnet has come to the rescue with lots of opportunities to discuss symptoms with others in the same position as me. Sounds like there’s a few others out there feeling as crappy as me, without the medical confirmation of something more serious like hyperemesis gravidarum (the more severe version of morning sickness).
To add to that I’ve managed to very quickly loose about 2kg in the last week or so which under normal circumstances would be great (as I’ve been gently losing weight since July last year), but I have been a bit worried under the current circumstances. A quick google tells me it’s pretty normal and doctors don’t normally concern themselves with it which is good news, but I still feel nervous about the combination of the nausea, vomiting and weightloss.
Today I went food shopping.
Food shopping with morning sickness is a new adventure really. I’m lucky in as much as nothing specific sets me off, and I haven’t gone off any previously favourite foods (though the thought on a gin and tonic turns my tummy!). However, it was a mission in picking-up-things-that-I-thought-I-could-fancy-sometime.
So what did I buy?
-milk
-non alocoholic ginger beer
-a box of magnum infinity caramel (incidently, these are disgusting!)
-fresh seafood (which I will cook very diligently before eating)
-Kingsmill 50/50 bread (the thought of white bread and brown bread both currently repulsive)
-two small bottles of diet pepsi (after a lifetime of saying I can’t tell the different between pepsi/coke/diet coke/ pepsi max, I now only like diet pepsi it seems…..)
-haribo tangfastic “chicks” (don’t ask)
-chilli and lime cheese
-cheesy cracker mix
-Glamour magazine
Hm. Not sure that counts as a healthy diet, but luckily all advice in the first trimester says to eat what you feel like (within reason) as your priority is to ensure you can eat something at least.
I’m sure any second now I’ll stop talking about sickness.
Probably.
Pregnancy has given me a whole new set of skills, mostly based around my olfactory functions. I’ve always had a keen sense of smell (not always a blessing), but this has been drastically heightened this week. I am thinking of using my new sense of smell to fuel a career change, and came up with the following:
-sniffer dog at customs
-a teacher (I can smell cigarette smoke from 50 paces)
-mum (soap and toothpaste are utterly overpowering)
This week I have been working very hard to put a positive spin on things. Husband and I are very excited about this pregnancy, but it’s very hard to feel chipper when all you can think of from when you wake up to when you fall asleep is how disgustingly sick you feel. Especially when you have to work a demanding job and travel for work when trying desperately hard to hide your pregnancy until the 12 week scan.
This week I found train travel to be the most unpleasant way to spend time when in the pits of morning sickness. How I didn’t vomit on anyone whilst crammed onto a commuter train on Friday morning- I have no idea. Luckily I got a seat for all the bits of journey- but the 5 hours round trip was not appreciated. And what’s worse is having to do it all again next week.
I am quite proud of myself today as I have got up and achieved something (admittedly in the short 10 minute lull of feeling human after forcing down two buttered crumpets). Now I’m off for the hottest shower I can stand to wash the blues away….
I say “morning” you see- but what I really mean is afternoon. I could say what I mean, but to be honest it seems it’s much more fun to choose a time of day, allocate an attribute to it and then spread the myth!
Huh? Yes, I’m talking about “morning” sickness! Today is the first time that I have experienced morning sickness, despite the fact that I’ve been feeling nauseous for 4 days. That’s right, “morning” sickness can happen at any time of day and isn’t by any stretch of the imagination limited to just the morning.
The bonus I’d imagine, is that I haven’t actually been sick, just an overwhelming feeling of sickness that takes my breath away and leaves me wanting to curl up on the floor. Only problem is that curling up on the floor doesn’t seem to fix it. Eating crumpets on the other hand, does seem to fix it…. but one can’t be doing that all day!
So, it looks like I really really am pregnant. Which is terrifying really. Husband and I haven’t told anyone yet as we’re trying to be discreet until we’ve reached that all important 12 week scan. Whilst I realise that after the scan there are no guarantees that everything will be plain sailing, we’ll be past that initial threat of the “First Trimester” which is when the baby is at the highest risk. I’m not sure I’m confident calling it a “baby” yet- it’s really just a bunch of cells the size of a grain of rice- but it’s amazing what the invisible changes inside your body are doing really.
What’s hardest is keeping the gob shut about it all. Obviously my lifestyle has had to change considerably in the last few weeks, but then I’ve been making these small changes ever since August 2011, when we first decided to try for a baby. That was a really long time ago. I was using the depo-provera contracteption injection for about 18 months, as the thought of having a family seemed like a really long way away. After some discussions, we decided that financially it might be time to start trying as it may take a while, and so I stopped the injection. We were aware that conception could take a while after coming off the depo injection, but we hadn’t quite been prepared for how long it took. Whilst waiting, I had an accident with an irritating long-term injury which meant we did start to put things on hold a bit, but (if you see the distinction) rather than trying to conceive, we just weren’t trying not to conceive!
16 months later, I decided to take a (slightly) early pregnancy test. We had guests staying later in the week and I was hopeful that there might be a postive test. There wasn’t- but I came down with a crappy cold and figured that I could blame the tiredness etc on that. At the end of the weekend, I was still feeling ropey, so when the husband did the food shop, I asked him to pick up another test.
Whilst he cooked dinner, I got the test out of the way.
Or so I thought. Showed husband. Cried. Was speechless.
The day after, I had another go. Still positive.
I’ll continue the story later……
Bumpy times.... 