Tag Archives: ms

Finding the energy

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Oh I’ve found it very hard to find the energy and inclination to post the last few days.
The end of the week seemed to drag out forever- I was starting to feel a little tiny bit better, and on my walk to the doctors on Friday to fill in a renewal form for my sick note, I walked a long way back, got some fresh air and felt ok. Not great, but ok (which was a vast improvement).

In turn I felt a bit silly for asking for a sick note renewal when I was just starting to feel a bit more human, but thought it was worth the buffer if I needed it.

This weekend was the lovely husbands birthday, and we’d made a quiet low key plan with a few friends. Plan was carried out successfully, and quietly and included watching rugby and eating crisps on the whole (with a little champagne and cake for later). We were in bed just after 11pm, feeling pretty tired but I was just grateful to have seen some actual other human beings. I really struggled to get to sleep, despite being exhausted and having taken my (drowsy) medication, so it took a frustrating 2 hours or so until I slept. Sunday and me did not get on. After sleeping in untl after 11am, I went back to bed at two (after 3 hours of lying on the sofa) to watch the rugby and sleep. I got up at 6pm, forced down some leftover takeaway (cold) and had a bath and went back to bed. It was the most awful horrible day ever. I was exhausted, nauseous and tearful, incapable of anything (including getting dressed or choosing food).

The only good thing to come out of that horrible day was the realisation that I’m really not quite well enough to go back to work this week. So another week of lying in bed, forcing myself to get up and eat and feeling bad for not being able to help out around the house at all. Great 😦

Luckily now we’ve told a few people, I may have a little company at times this week. It helps the days go quicker.

8 weeks today, baby is the size of a raspberry (last week blueberry, week before a PEA!)!

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Shades of Grey. No, not 50!

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This week I have come to further appreciate the many different levels of sickness experienced during pregnancy and how hard it is to try to put yourself into a category.

Some women experience no nausea or sickness at all. Ironically, they often wish for it during early stages of pregnancy, especially prior to first scan dates as it helps validate the pregnancy. This may sound odd, but the strange thing about being pregnant is that you’re unlikely to have it verified by an independent adjudicator until weeks 10-12 when you have your “booking in” appointment, blood tests and first ultrasound. I am embarrassed to admit that when I first went to the doctors to tell her I was pregnant, I’d brought along my two positive tests in case she didn’t believe me!

There’s then a huge swathe of women who suffer with intermittent or mild nausea and/or vomiting between weeks 7-12ish (when hCG is surging through their bodies) who usually get on with it with a brilliant British stiff upper lip, determined not to let the baby-shaped cat out of the figurative amniotic sack until the end of the first trimester (which annoyingly tends to be when the sickness dies down-and any potential sympathy with it!).

The other group we sometimes hear about (thankyouprincessmiddleton)  is those suffering with severe NVP (technical term that, and the real name for “morning sickness”- Nausea and Vomiting in Pregnancy), called Hypermesis Gravitas. These are women who have become severely dehydrated as a result of their NVP and have been hospitalised to replace fluids, to try antiemetic medication and to generally get them well again. This can last for a whole pregnancy and is a very serious physical condition.

Inbetween are infinite shades of grey- which is what I’ve been learning about this week. I am a shade. Let’s call it “accountant grey”- darkish, possibly with a dull pinstripe.

I’ve lost over 2.5kg whilst trying to nourish my tiny pea-foetus over the last two weeks. I am very nauseous 24/7 and unable to concentrate,  travel or even sit or stand for too long. I am sick 2-3 times a day (and hold it back many more times), I’ve also had a slightly elevated temperature of 99.8 for 4 days. I am however able to keep enough fluids down to still be ‘well’- my urine is dark and I measured my ketosis at 0.5 (which is ok). I am keeping some food down.

I can’t really leave the house or tell anyone why. I can’t go to work (I will have to tell them why soon).

This is sadly why I am going to need some medication. It seems it can be (understandably) hard to convince GPs to prescribe medicines (especially in the first trimester), and I’ve had two
GP appointments since finding out I was pregnant and neither doctor was keen to prescribe. I will need to be a little more forceful (and maybe cry less) to get hold of some of the drugs that can be prescribed for NVP during the first trimester as they do exist! Please keep your fingers crossed for Monday’s gp visit for a miracle cure (or cyclazine).

Looks like we might be pressured into telling people sooner than we are comfy with, but it is very hard to hide a normally busy outgoing person behind a “sickness bug” without genuinely worrying friends and family. We also hate lying (and are pretty bad at it) so I think we’re going to make plans to tell the family this coming week.

On the upside…. I’ve accidentally convinced my lovely wonderful husband that we should go for an early scan! Unless you have some specific health reasons, you don’t get pre-12 week ultrasound scans on the NHS, but can pay to have them privately. I originally saw these as a pointless waste of money and emotion, as you’re still not out of the sensitive 1st trimester until 12 weeks. However, my increasing irrational fear of twins (strong early morning sickness being one of many possible signs) and general impatience to see the little pea-foetus thats causing all this ill has got the better of me…. Roll on Tuesday for my 7+1 scan!

That’ll do for now. I wish I could enjoy a cup of tea.

Oh and briefly, if you meet a womn with severe morning sickness, for the love of anything please do not ask her if she has tried ginger. Do you not think, thy if she were feeling that awful, thant she has probably tried everything in her power to feel well again? That includes sodding biscuits!

Smelling life

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Pregnancy has given me a whole new set of skills, mostly based around my olfactory functions. I’ve always had a keen sense of smell (not always a blessing), but this has been drastically heightened this week. I am thinking of using my new sense of smell to fuel a career change, and came up with the following:

-sniffer dog at customs
-a teacher (I can smell cigarette smoke from 50 paces)
-mum (soap and toothpaste are utterly overpowering)

This week I have been working very hard to put a positive spin on things. Husband and I are very excited about this pregnancy, but it’s very hard to feel chipper when all you can think of from when you wake up to when you fall asleep is how disgustingly sick you feel. Especially when you have to work a demanding job and travel for work when trying desperately hard to hide your pregnancy until the 12 week scan.

This week I found train travel to be the most unpleasant way to spend time when in the pits of morning sickness. How I didn’t vomit on anyone whilst crammed onto a commuter train on Friday morning- I have no idea. Luckily I got a seat for all the bits of journey- but the 5 hours round trip was not appreciated. And what’s worse is having to do it all again next week.

I am quite proud of myself today as I have got up and achieved something (admittedly in the short 10 minute lull of feeling human after forcing down two buttered crumpets). Now I’m off for the hottest shower I can stand to wash the blues away….