Monthly Archives: January 2014

Cold

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I’ve had a lot that I’ve wanted say recently but not had the energy to be very eloquent so there are lots of drafts sitting about.

So in less in depth news, baby has his first cold. Which he has kindly given to me. Today he has been in an hourly cycle of feeding, sleeping, smiling, playing then crying. This cycle usually takes more like three hours! I think I’d cope quite well if I wasn’t feeling so rotten. Turns out that mummies and daddies don’t get a break and it’s exhausting.

I felt I was officially a mummy when I realised at ten am that baby had had:
-2 naps
-one lot of calpol
-2 lots of Nasal nose spray
-2 feeds

I had had:
Er…. Nothing
Rectified quickly with a cuppa and a snickers!

May this be short lived! Worst of all I haven’t left the house today and I may go mad.

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Relaxed mummy?

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I’m a relatively chilled out person on the whole though of course I do worry about some things. I just try to be rational and realistic about thing.

So when baby D developed his first rash at 17 wks old, I didn’t panic. It started around his mouth and bottom so I assumed it was related to teething (which is a whole other story) but kept an eye on it. He was healthy and happy otherwise so I wasn’t too worried. The next day the rash spread until it was all over his body. We took his temperature which was fine and eventually rang the nhs 111 help line. They were helpful and reassuring-no temp and an otherwise healthy baby suggests a small allergic reaction to *something* or maybe a viral rash. Not to worry unless he developed a temperature or it got worse, and with an absence of high temp thru would be fine to go ahead with his planned 16wk jabs the next day.

At the dr surgery, the nurse was a bit concerned and didn’t want to do his jabs in case any reaction was masked by the rash. She called the doctor in to examine baby and he decided it “probably wasn’t measles” but wanted to call the paediatric doctor to check.  They decided he was ok but didn’t do his jabs so they are now booked in for tomorrow.

That was a teeny roller coaster right there. But the weird thing was- I think I did the right thing in the circumstances but I did get comments from other people who seemed to think I should have done more …. or more specifically that I should have worried more! With an absence of a high temperature, I’m not sure what else I could have done! Good news is that is all gone now and we survived!

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Black and white

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I’m still astonished at the ‘them and us’ attitude surrounding so many aspects of parenting. Every issue seems contentious with most available information-whether books, websites or online discussion- being polar opposites.

From what I can tell, most real life parents, like us,  sit firmly on the fence about most things. I am a habitual fence sitter in life- I often feel that if I don’t have good specialist knowledge to back up my feelings over certain issues, then my conviction is questionable.

Co- sleeping, breast feeding, reusable nappies, baby led weaning, ‘baby wearing’ and so on-these are all parenting issues that you seen expected to be in one camp or another on.

I’m going to see if I can explore how I feel.

Co-sleeping
I’d prefer on the whole not to share my bed with my baby. I chose to share it with my husband and sometimes the cat, and despite being a king size bed, it’s a little crowded all ready. When we have Co slept, I tend to feel very uncomfortable and poor husband gets a tiny slither of bed!

Our baby may well be our only child and I don’t want him to be clingy or have any of the typical imagined traits of an only child. I will willingly admit that I have no evidence to suggest that Co-sleeping or any other aspect of ‘Attachment Parenting’ can lead to clingy children (in fact I’m certain that the Attachment Parenting groups will suggest otherwise) but that’s how I feel. If we regularly Co-sleep now, how and when do we tell our child that it’s not ok any more?

But most of all, I just don’t really want to! This is not to say we don’t or haven’t Co-slept.  In fact there have been many times where it was the only  way to guarantee any sleep at all, especially when baby was little.

Feeding
I am very pro breast feeding. And very pro breat feeding in public (No fence on this one! ). It is normal, natural, beautiful, the right thing to do and obviously there are tonnes of health and emotional benefits to both mummy and baby.
However I am not anti-formula feeding. Formula is a valuable resource and a valid easy of feeding your  baby. I’m always sad when people decide not to breast feed their baby or don’t persevere with it but I respect their choice.

Beat feeding is both hard and easy. It took us a couple of weeks to get the hang of it and it was painful and exhausting. A couple of weeks doesn’t sound long but you feel every minute and every second fighting to get your baby to feed. You Go to clinics, search the Internet, read everything you can find, desperate to be able to do this ‘natural’ thing you presumed at least easier than this, if not actually easy. I can’t leave my baby for more than about 90 mins as he won’t take a bottle. This means only feeding from me. Four months so far of never having more than a rare hour or so to myself except when asleep.

But. …. breast feeding is easy. Baby is hungry? I unclip my bra, lift my top and latch him on. Formula feed baby is hungry? This involves steralisers, bottle warmers, different kinds of bottles and teats, comfort milk/hungry baby milk/standard milk/which brand, how many ounces, how long will it stay ok for before I have to throw it away. …? Lots to think about.

I am very grateful to have a baby that eventuality took to the breast but it was no easy mission to get there. I give myself a little pat on the back too because I can’t tell you how much I had to persevere. Waking every 90 mins to feed the baby with mr bumpy not being able to help by taking a shift or two. ….

Nappies
I haaate nappies. They are so ridiculously wasteful. They don’t biodegrade and the numbers produced over the first few years of a babies life is astronomical. However they are extents easy to use and very convenient. We use reusable nappies sometimes but I’d like to use them more.

Essentially we use then during the day when we are in the house. This is because they are bulky and must be carried around all day rathert than thrown in a bin.  But  I’d like to use them more as I now have a larger changing bag and I’m frustrated abut how many nappies we go through.

I understand why people don’t like the idea of reusable nappies and I’m not sure how one copes when their babies are weaned onto solids but we’ll cross that bridge another time.

Weaning
Speaking of weaning. … (By which I mean the British version of the word, meaning to introduce solid food into the babies diet).

There appear to be two main camps. One is the concept of baby led weaning (blw) which involves giving the baby whole pieces of food and letting them be in control of spoons etc. The Other is the more traditional method of spooning mush into the babies mouth. I can see the benefits of both- is great for the baby to explore food in their own time but they do need some help to get the food in.  I plan to mix the two approaches when we get to that fun and messy stage!

Babywearing
This is kind of a new one on me. I kmew that there were lots of different types of slings but not the them-and-us attitude of many “baby wearers”. I joined some Facebook groups as I have a ring sling that I needed some help with and at I was considering buying some kind of woven wrap too.  I was taken aback at the comments there- there was a feeling that people who push their babies in buggies are watching women with slings in envy because their babies are always happy and relaxed.

This leads to the “natural parenting” camp as many of the above ideas seen to make up the core values of the supposed natural parenting method.

And so in lies my issue. There seems to be no scope for reading about and grabbing the useful ideas that tie into your own values and muddling them together. And mummies and daddies are being brainwashed into feeling they have to choose a side.
Are you “doing Gina?”
No we use the No Cry Sleep Solution
Ah we are doing the 90 minute plan

Dear parents,
Most of you are doing an awesome job. Do not beat yourself up about trying to stick to one camp!

I’m sure everyone reading this will have a different opinion (kind of the idea of opinions), but I hope that you parents  and patentsto be can relax a little and see what happens. You might surprise yourself!

What a difference. …

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A day and night can make!

At the start of December I bravery stopped logging every feed obsessivly.

I like logging things. I run 3 public blogs, a private blog, Facebook, tweet, log my exercise on Endomondo, my food on MyFitnessPal and my photography on both a website and Flickr.

I’ve now started logging sleep as we have only the vaguest of patterns.  Sunday night he slept badly with wakes every 2 hrs. Monday day time he barely napped- maybe 3x 20 minute snoozes. Monday night he slept great (10pm ti 6am) and then during the day had 2 decent 2hr naps. Now at past midnight he is still awake and upset!

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