Your life is over.


Discovering that we were pregnant was such a exciting, joyous sensation. In some ways it still doesn’t seem real as right now – for me at least – very little has changed.  I’m doing more around the house, but fundamentally life continues as before just with the occasional exciting trip to the Doctor or hospital for routine (to them!) checkups. Overall, I feel good but there is one thing that I have been struggling with and that’s other people’s comments. I don’t know if C has been getting these, or if it’s a man thing but people seem to take great pleasure in telling me that I don’t know what I’ve let myself in for, I’ll have no money and that my life is basically over. This view point seems predicated on the basis that I don’t know anyone that’s ever had a child. For the last few years people have often commented that we’re very busy people. We certainly did our best to experience life but now that we’re (can I say that? is C pregnant? if so what am I?) expecting people seem to take great joy in telling us how little we’ll be able to do. Meals out are a thing of the past, no more cinema trips and give up on ever seeing anyone every again. Neither of us are naive enough to assume there will be no changes.

Links like this get posted.

I’m sure there will be days where I’m tired and ache to the core, when I’m at the end of my tether because our child just won’t shut up, but all I want is for guys to admit that there are good times too.

Although I said it was all guys that’s not true. It’s mostly people I don’t know so well / work this. Maybe it’s because it’s not cool (even amongst geeks) to admit that having a child is brilliant. Which it must be otherwise I’m fairly certain more people won’t bother.

I need to work on my coping technique which is mostly getting angry at people which isn’t sensible. I’m thinking about suggesting that the guys that suggest it that if it’s so horrid they give up their children. Maybe that’ll cause them to think again? I doubt it. I don’t want to avoid talking about this whole life changing event, but if it saves me having to deal with stupid comments I’ll refrain from mentioning it at work. Why should I have to do this?

I have had one nice conversation with a friend though. He was upfront about the hard times like when he was so tired his bones ached, but also that at the same time he said it was the most joyous experience he had. All I want is reality from these guys, to talk about the posatives and not just the negatives.

Although unlike my friend I won’t be dealing with the late night feeds by taking speed.


4 responses »

  1. Load of negativity from posts like that. Going on what I have seen over the past year, Jo and El’s little baby is not 1 yet and they still make time for date nights and coming out with us and such and we in turn, although all childless, make time to do things that baby can come to so that we can see them, they can socialise and also so we can interact with baby too. Plus El loves showing off his daughter, and flying her around Debenhams on his shoulders. Yes there will be changes and some rough patches and things you may have to cancel last minute, but life doesn’t need to be ‘over’ in any way shape or form.

  2. It’s really sad that people are so negative about parent hood – yes it’s sometimes tough but it is the most wonderful and rewarding thing ever – creating a new human still blows my mind! Yes our lives have changed but we do some stuff we used to and the other thins we choose not to because it’s hard not to want to be with our little one 24/7 – enjoy every minute 🙂

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